Crazy Days of Summer

Where did I get this girl?

Mama:  "Girls, we need to get this mess cleaned up.  There are toys everywhere.  Start picking them up and putting them away . . . now!"

Maddy:  "But Mama, I don't want to pick up my toys."

Mama:  "Well, Maddy, I'll give you a choice.  You can either pick up the toys or go to time out."

Maddy:  pauses for a moment, looks at me and says "Mama, I think I'll just go to time out."  And she turns around and begins to walk herself to timeout.  Seriously!  The girl would rather sit in timeout than pick up her toys!

Anyway, I cut that off pretty quickly and said, "Well, you can sit in timeout.  But don't come out until you're ready to pick up your toys."

So, she sat in timeout for 3 or 4 minutes and then came out and started picking up her toys.  I can only assume it's all downhill from here!

Updates

Since I love my lists, this post will be in that format since it's all pretty random at this point:

1)  Dr.'s office called this morning.  They confirmed what I already knew - that I had a miscarriage.  And then, the nurse went on to say that they were concerned that as of my last blood test, levels were still showing HCG.  They're requesting that I take a pregnancy test and if it still shows positive, I'll need to go in for an ultrasound.  This is a little bit of an emotional setback for me.  I really thought this whole ordeal was over with now only to find out that it may not be over yet.  So, please continue to pray that my body will cooperate.

2)  I have two weeks of my college classes left - woohoo!  I can't believe that the 9 weeks are almost over!  I'll be registering for the next term and if all goes well, I'll be done - finished - graduating after March!!  This has been a long, drawn out process - I can't wait to be able to say "I'm finished!"

3)  Hubby will not be joining us for Thanksgiving.  However, I am fortunate, unlike many other pilot wives, to live in my hometown near my family.  I'll be joining them for Thanksgiving dinner.  As I think about Thanksgiving, I have so many people and events and things to be thankful for.

4)  My web baby, www.pilotwivesclub.com, is growing like a weed.  I've got great member participation and can't wait to see what other opportunities come our way.  If you haven't seen it, it's open for public view, so please stop over and look around.  You can't comment unless your a member, but you can tour the site.

5)  I joined Facebook about a month ago and have reconnected with so many friends.  Looks like we'll be getting together this holiday season!  I'm am so excited!!!

6)  We're still trying to sell our condo on Galveston Island.  Ugh!  My frustration with that place is growing by the day.  Please join us in praying that we can unload this place soon. 

Well, that's all for now!  I'm in much better spirits this week, so I'll continue to check in.  To each and every one of you who have sent emails, comments or prayers my way - thank you!  I know I didn't respond to each comment or email - it was too hard to talk about.  Every time I tried to respond, I began to cry.  So please know, I so much appreciate all the thoughts and prayers and kind words. 

A Letter to a Friend

Dear Time:

 

    So here we are again, in this familiar place.  I’m at your mercy begging you to slow down.  In the last two day’s events, I have found myself crippled and at a stand still unable to move.  And yet you keep moving on as if nothing has happened.  How?  How can you just blow right past me without any concern whatsoever.  We are friends yet enemies all at the same time.  I can’t move forward.  I need you.  I need some moments of quietness.  I need to sit.  I need to be.  But you won’t let me.  Every time I look at the clock there is another task added to the list and the second hand keeps ticking away.  And before I know it, weeks will pass and I’ll still be standing here wondering how I got so far behind.  The world continues to move on at your beckoning.  But I’m not ready to move on.  I need to grieve.  I need to pray.  I need more of you. 

    So, please, I’m begging you, give me a little more of you right now.  Slow down.  Don’t leave me behind.  I want to move forward, really, I do.  Just wait for me.  I’ll be there soon.

                                                    Forever in your debt,

                                                    Summer

He gives and he takes away

I mourn today.  I mourn the loss of someone I'll never know.  I mourn the thought of what might have been.  But I rest in the assurance that all things work to the good of those that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose.

A week ago, after months of trying and calculating and charting, I found out I was pregnant.  I was happy.  I was elated.  And even though I tried to stop myself, I starting planning the next nine months in my head - every little detail.  This past Saturday, I surprised Hubby at the airport and told him the good news - via a t-shirt!  It was fun.  We were happy.

And then, the unthinkable happened this morning.  I woke up feeling cramps in my abdomen.  I hesitated to go to the bathroom and check out the situation, I just knew, in the pit of my stomach, what I was going to find.  There was no doubt, I was miscarrying.

Even now as I write this, tears flowing down my face, I rejoice in the fact that my God is in control.  He gives and he takes away.  I don't know the reasons and I don't need to know.

I don't write this post seeking sympathy.  I have been blessed with two beautiful children.  God is good.  I write this post to remind myself that I will praise God always - not only in the good times but also in the trenches of the storm.

Blessed be your name O God!

I will go to the doctors office today for the routine blood tests and then again on Thursday.  These tests will determine whether my body will take care of itself or if my doctor will need to step in medically. 

My prayer is that my body will go through the normal processes and nothing more will need to be done.

I'll check back in when I know more.  Thank you in advance for your thoughts and prayers.