I mourn today. I mourn the loss of someone I'll never know. I mourn the thought of what might have been. But I rest in the assurance that all things work to the good of those that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose.
A week ago, after months of trying and calculating and charting, I found out I was pregnant. I was happy. I was elated. And even though I tried to stop myself, I starting planning the next nine months in my head - every little detail. This past Saturday, I surprised Hubby at the airport and told him the good news - via a t-shirt! It was fun. We were happy.
And then, the unthinkable happened this morning. I woke up feeling cramps in my abdomen. I hesitated to go to the bathroom and check out the situation, I just knew, in the pit of my stomach, what I was going to find. There was no doubt, I was miscarrying.
Even now as I write this, tears flowing down my face, I rejoice in the fact that my God is in control. He gives and he takes away. I don't know the reasons and I don't need to know.
I don't write this post seeking sympathy. I have been blessed with two beautiful children. God is good. I write this post to remind myself that I will praise God always - not only in the good times but also in the trenches of the storm.
Blessed be your name O God!
I will go to the doctors office today for the routine blood tests and then again on Thursday. These tests will determine whether my body will take care of itself or if my doctor will need to step in medically.
My prayer is that my body will go through the normal processes and nothing more will need to be done.
I'll check back in when I know more. Thank you in advance for your thoughts and prayers.